abelrm613 – Rev. Antonio Lopez

Antonio Lopez

abelrm613 — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 07:53:41 +0000

I am an ordained Episcopal priest, a son of immigrant parents, a brother, and a married gay man. This is my story.

Carlos & Crisis

abelrm613 — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 20:16:00 +0000

When Carlos left, I questioned my attraction to him. It was so confusing and something I just couldn’t understand. How could God call me to to become a priest even though I was possibly attracted to men? So many doubts set in. This was the beginning of a real mental and spriritual crisis for me. If there was that attraction for Carlos, what did that say about me? Would it be possible for me to have these feelings for other men as well? Was I gay? Could I continue studying for the priesthood in Mexico? No matter how hard or how much I prayed, the questions didn’t leave me. I was in total anguish at the thought of being a homosexual man, which went against all the teachings of society and especially, the Catholic church.

The Hitchhiker

abelrm613 — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 20:16:00 +0000

The following Wednesday, just one week later, the restless feeling was back. This time I didn’t want to drink by myself. I called some of my old high school friends from Oxnard to see if they wanted to go out to a couple of our favorite bars and have a few drinks. The plan was to meet at my parents’ house at 7:00 p.m. and then go out on the town. Oxnard was only an hour drive from Isla Vista, so instead of driving back after a night on the town, I’d stay at my parents’ house that night. I arrived early in Oxnard. My parents were happy to see me, fo course, and to find out how I was doing. “Everything is just fine,” was my answer when they asked. “I’m going out with my friends and would like to spend the night at home.” They loved the idea of me at home again, even if it was just for a night.

Parties, Pain…

abelrm613 — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 20:15:00 +0000

To my surprise, attending Moorpark College was really enjoyable. Meeting people, making new friends and getting involved in some of the college activities was exciting. It was a whole new world for me. We did have to study for exams to graduate, which was what I was most afraid of. Overall, the entire college experience was great fun and a wonderful way to learn about life.

In all reality , it was the social life, the parties and all the drinking, that were the best parts of attending college! This was team building for young people, aged 18 to 20 something. We had partied in Oxnard but this was a whole new crowd! Perhaps it should have not been that way, but it was.

Tony

abelrm613 — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 20:15:00 +0000

Everyone called me Tony. My full name is Antonio Gonzalez Lopez, named after my father, Antonio Brancamontes Lopez. We just had different middle names. My middle name was Gonzalez, which was the maiden name of my mother, Maria Gonzalez. If I had grown up in Mexico, there would have been two last names, the last name of my father followed by the last name of my mother. But in California, as a U.S. born American, I was christened with a first, middle and last name. So both my Mexican born parents were still honored in my name.

It wasn’t until much later on in my adult life, after my departure from the Roman Catholic church, when I “fashionably” started using my real name, Antonio. It “just happened” to coincide with the time when the Spanish actor, Antonio Banderas, became very famous.

There was a shy person within me. Even though people saw me as quiet and introverted, I very much enjoyed being with people. Listening to their storie of struggle and hardship, or happiness and triumph, of their faith in God or their lack of it, was very interesting and exciting

Forward

abelrm613 — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 20:14:00 +0000

By Pedro Gabino, Ph.D.
Forensic and Health Psychology
Las Vegas, Nevada

As a professional in the field of psychology, I have had the opportunity to assist persons with various backgrounds. When working with them, many unique and fascinating life stories emerge. During these encounters, one basic question comes to mind: what life circumstances did this person face that made them who they are today?

Reflecting on this question, I look back at my teenage years where I, myself, had no direction in life. Fortunately for me, it was during this time when I met the author, Antonio Lopez, who made an impact on my life. Antonio’s life story helped me understand that in spite of life challenges, it is possible to pursue one’s own personal goals. Consequently, as a result of his guidance and example, I chose a profession in clinical psychology, and am grateful to him for it.

Throughout his autobiography, Antonio feflects on his life journey, echoing his caring persona, openness, uniqueness and honesty. His personal experience and perspectives of family friends, love, struggles, and faith are encompassed with expressions of hope, fear, joy, sadness, uncertainty, and finally, with acceptance. His journey is not a solitary one, but is linked with people he helped and those who also impacted his life.

Antonio’s personal story will intrigue and pull you in to experience each event and circumstance right along with him. His story is much more than a chronicle of unique life challenges and successes, but is one that we all can relate to.

It is my hope that Antonio’s story, a literary contribution of self- undersanding and acceptance, will motivate you to connect and reflect on your own life’s journeys. May you discover and appreciate the people and the life circumstances who made you the person you are today.

Amanda Gonzalez

abelrm613 — Sat, 26 Nov 2016 20:04:00 +0000

This book is a wonderful, introspective look into the life of a man raised in a society that at times demonstrates conflicting moral values. It gave me an appreciation for what it must be like to have raised in a traditional, conservative Catholic household and deal with a powerful realization of who you are coming of age.

Juan Ramirez

abelrm613 — Sat, 26 Nov 2016 20:03:20 +0000

As a gay Hispanic man, I can appreciate the cultural issues that Rev. Lopez’s writes about in this amazing autobiographical work. The themes, though, are universal in some ways. We grow up among social constructs and expectations of what is “normal.” It’s a continuing struggle that many persons – straight or gay – can relate to.

Wish I Wasn’t. Glad I Am.

abelrm613 — Sat, 26 Nov 2016 19:42:06 +0000

by Rev. Antonio Lopez

I’ve been asked why I decided to write a book about my life. The reason was that I had been told by so many people that I should tell my story about my personal conversion to faith in God and acceptance of who I am as a gay man and priest.

My book may scandalize some but it may help others find God in their own personal journey. It may also help people accept themselves, especially those who are struggling in accepting themselves as gay men and women. I am sure we may all know someone to whom my book may be of some help.