When Carlos left, I questioned my attraction to him. It was so confusing and something I just couldn’t understand. How could God call me to to become a priest even though I was possibly attracted to men? So many doubts set in. This was the beginning of a real mental and spriritual crisis for me. If there was that attraction for Carlos, what did that say about me? Would it be possible for me to have these feelings for other men as well? Was I gay? Could I continue studying for the priesthood in Mexico? No matter how hard or how much I prayed, the questions didn’t leave me. I was in total anguish at the thought of being a homosexual man, which went against all the teachings of society and especially, the Catholic church.